Everyone who’s human experiences days, weeks, months, or even years of I don’t care. It’s getting stuck in a cyclical loop of apathy when most of us are just trying to survive. We do this by not emotionally investing in people, situations, or events that tend to drain our energy. This can clearly be recognized as a defense mechanism. In essence we stop engaging, pursuing life with gusto and vigor, and delving deep into our passions. More often than not, we hit a metaphorical wall, bang our heads, curse, and proceed to complain about not being able to progress and grow.
The relationship between apathy and limitation is a strong yet subtle one (also, ironic). Actively choosing apathy to frame life circumstance acts a numbing agent. If one perceives that they are unable to change a situation, at least they can elect to cauterize any and all feeling associated with it. Henceforth, apathy or …” [a] lack of feeling, emotion, interest, and concern — […] a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation, and/or passion” (Wikipedia). It’s the perception of culling power from a powerlessness situation, of making an active choice where one may feel there is no choice available.
Of course we don’t actively seek to negate positive emotion (detailed above). Here’s the thing, we can’t numb the bad without also destroying the good, which is why motivation takes a nose-dive into nowheresville.
To cauterize any feeling is to cauterize all feeling.
Simultaneously, the risk of passively or actively choosing to embrace apathy limits our own development. Disengaging shrinks our worldview and contributes to the cultivation of the box affect. We, in essence, push off responsibility, delay action, and choose to endure the swamp of existing, but not living.
Such apathy can be limited to a certain area of life – an unfulfilling job, interpersonal relationship – or on a broader scale. The latter, of course, is a great deal more threatening as it’s harder to pull oneself from the widespread grip of distorted thinking.
To willingly brandish the weapon of apathy perpetuates a great disservice unto ourselves. This faulty coping mechanism will have a disastrous effect upon our lives – it’s only a matter of time.
So the next question becomes how does one handle or confront such issues? Well, in order to deal, we must first unpack our feelings and the stops wedging themselves between who we are and where we want to be.
[Digression: I find myself very much like Alice of Wonderland, that is, I give myself very good advice but very rarely follow it. However, I am also good at encouraging others so I’m hoping this post is doubly successful: it motivates those on the other side of their screen to recognize, to amend destructive behavior and serves as a kick in the rear to kindle my own personal action flame.]
It all comes back to fear. Fear paralyzes and stirs us to root ourselves firmly where we stand. This familiar area, though far from ideal, is known. We may have a limited set of tools to deal with our current situation, but at least we are vaguely aware of what to do in order to get by. What’s worse, staying stuck somewhere one doesn’t fit or the realization that having jumped ship, a host of new problems await?
Humans fears what they don’t know. That’s a fact. We also come into this world knowing absolutely nothing (also, fact). So somewhere between being young and becoming “knowledgeable” adults, we begin buying into the cosmic consciousness of apathy. We build walls. We do ourselves the disservice of not becoming who we’re meant to be. We are the greatest limit unto ourselves.
It’s a clever ruse, really. “I don’t care,” is actually code for I care quite a lot and I’m terrified. We’re all just trying to survive. The rub is how we choose to do so. Are we grinding our souls against the earth, forcing ourselves into areas were we clearly don’t fit, for the sake of security? Or do we throw ourselves naked into the unknown, take accountability for our emotions, our fear, our action, and go for it?
There’s always a choice. Always. Refusing to take action is a choice too.
Bravery is embracing everything you feel and going after what you desire, more, what you deserve. So take that step, make that choice, deconstruct the myth of “I Don’t Care,” commit to feeling every emotion, weed through the bad, and move forward.
You’re your own greatest adversary, but the reverse is also true; you’re also your solution.
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